Balanced Rider Free Workshop - Video 2
Step by Step Training for Friendship and Trust
Fast Track Your Riding Success
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What would you love to experience in your riding?
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216 Responses
Haha, I would ask him if he needs his rug today. I’m always concerned about whether to rug or not. Secondly, I would ask him if I am hurting or annoying his mouth.
I love the first question! There was actually a study done where they taught the horses to push a button indicating if they wanted to be rugged or unrugged! Here’s a link to read about it: https://equitationscience.com/media/to-rug-or-not-to-rug
Hello Callie. Thanks for providing the link about rugging (blanketing) your horse. I found this very interesting.
I had a horse that would run away from me when I approached carrying his rug. If he wanted it, he allowed me to put it on.
I would ask him how I can help him enjoy being ridden, especially by me. I believe we have a good relationship on the ground, but he seems fairly miserable when I’m mounted.
It may be my seat (I really enjoyed Myth 1) or my reticence to be brave and trusting in the saddle, due to a bad experience with another horse (I’m looking forward to Myth 3).
He’s such a willing partner on the ground I want it to be the same for both of us when I’m mounted.
This is a wonderful question Terri!
I only ride a lesson horse, but still would like to know if her recognizes me and if he enjoys our time together,
From running a lesson program with up to 15 school horses, I absolutely believe the lesson horses recognize different students that they connect with!
What are your tips about connecting with a lesson horse? (My related question is posted separately below)
I actually have a whole video on this! You can watch it here: https://www.horseclass.com/blog/how-to-connect-with-a-lesson-horse/
I would ask her how can I get you to not be afraid of cars and strange things she see in the fields and to go back on the road rides after begin put in a ditch?
Hi Valerie, I have helped several horses with a fear of traffic by slowly introducing the traffic closer and closer while also using positive reinforcement. There is definitely hope for you two to work through these fears of hers!
I would ask, “what are you trying to tell me when I ride?”
Great question!
I will ask him if he is happy with me.
What a simple and powerful question Maura!
hi
i really like the bridle she is wearing. what is the brand please?
Hi Willow, I honestly don’t know the brand! We have so much different tack at the farm, there is no one brand I use!
and if i coudl ask her a Q it would be ‘do you prefer it when i ride you in the bareback saddle pad or in the regular saddle’?
Interesting question! I would love to be able to ask my horse which saddle they prefer when trying different ones – would make saddle fitting a lot easier!
I would ask my lesson horse what he likes as a non-food reward. I would like to be able to connect with him the way I can connect with most dogs. I’m new to horses while I have worked with rescued dogs for years.
Great question! Perhaps he has a favorite spot to be scratched?
I would ask my mare if she’s ever going to let me ride her again! We had an accident a little over a year ago.
what a big question! Sounds like you have quite a journey with your mare!
What a great question?
Overall, I feel my horse and I communicate well with each other.
I guess one question would be, “When you don’t understand what I’m asking, or when you lack the confidence to do what I’m asking, how can I better break it down for you?”
Overall, I would say we have come a long ways on this and generally do pretty good. But… sometimes it can be a struggle.
Another question would be, “In what ways can I better include you in decision making without causing relational issues?”
I do feel we have come a long ways on this as well. Just simple things, really. While tacking up, we ground-tie with me trusting him to stand without wandering off. When we come thru a pasture gap-gate and he knows to turn and stand while I dismount to close the gate, I let him know he made the right choice without waiting on my cue. Riding home, I often just let him choose the path home with zero direction from me… he knows the way home so why not let him choose the route?
But I would love to find more ways to help him feel included and appreciated.
One I am working on is cow work. In general, we work well together and he has a really good handle for fast moves to turn a cow. However, I know he could do a lot more if I was better at getting out of his way and trusting him to read the cow and move himself. But my fear of losing control tends to kick in…
These are wonderful questions Joe! It sounds like you really care about the relationship with your horses and how they feel as you are working together.
What can I do for you to help you when you are so intent on focusing in the distance with fright at a moving object?
Good question! I often just wait in these moments, allow them to focus and study it, even when my impatience wants to say “let’s go already!”
I would ask him if he’s happy being with us
Probably just that you think to ask this goes a long way to what the answer may be
I would ask her if anything I do (aids), or any of her tack(bit, saddle), ever hurts her, scares her or makes her movements difficult for her.
Yes! It would be so much easier if we could just ask this!
Oh how I wish I could ask my mare what I can do to make her enjoy more being, and working with me!
What a wonderful question!
Sometimes she seems so bored! That Makes me sad…
One question I would ask him Is how can I help him overcome his fear of the farrier without sedation. Yet lets me care for his hooves no problem.
Or why he panics if put in a stall or cross ties or confined spaces but is fine in a trailer. Yet he ground ties to tack up.
Great questions Diane! I may have some resources to help with the fear of farrier and hoof care – what are the problems your horse has there? Have you tried a slow step ty step approach with positive reinforcement?
I purchased him back in June this year. It was my first experience with a Farrier for him. I was not there at the beginning. They had put him in cross-ties which he is all over the place and panics. So then they had someone hold him to remove the shoes and trim. The right toe was excessively long and he cut it way back. After that he had a hard time putting pressure on that hoof. And from there it all escalated. He reared to the point of needing to be sedated just to get a shoe on the sore hoof. Needless to say he now has only one shoe on as the sedation was short lasting.
I had a different farrier come out and we tried the slow approach but it didn’t take long for him to panic head high when farrier tried to look at hoofs. I tried keeping him busy and mind off with treats if he lifted his foot for him etc. But that didn’t last once he grabbed the trimmer.
Thank you for more details on this! The good news is that you can work through this bad experience, the not so good news is it is going to be a process that cannot just be done when the farrier is there to put the shoes on.
When I lived in Pa, I was connected to several vets there who would call me out for help when horses need regular treatments or when they couldn’t do a certain procedure and did not want to sedate. I actually love working on these kinds of behaviors!
I would use a positive reinforcement approach and go back to reinforcing for him just picking up his hoof, then picking it up and holding it for a few seconds, then picking it up and moving around, then putting it between your legs like the farrier, then using the farrier tools (you can even use a wrench or something that looks like a farrier tool to pry around on the foot for the experience). The key is to positively reinforce each step, creating a lot of great experiences, and only moving to the next step when your horse is comfortable with the prior one.
Trust me, there is definitely hope! These kind of cases with farrier and vet trouble are one of my specialties
Wonderful. Thank you! I will definitely try that.
I would ask her what can I do to better communicate with her.
She is an experienced gated horse 10yr and I am a beginning rider. Also does she prefer western style neck reining or 2 hand English reining.
That second question is super interesting! I would love to know a horse’s response to this as well!
I would like to here from Peter Pan, why are you challenge me, what happend to you before i bought you?
I would ask … What hurts?
Yes! There are so many times I would have loved an answer to this question!
I would also like to ask my mare what scares her in the process of hot showing the most and what I can do to help. The noise of the furnace? The heat? The smoke and heat of the new iron? I broke it down, recorded the furnace and play it to her, first in a place where she is most comfortable and then in the location where the farrier works with her. The pure noise used to scare her a lot and she started snorting and got all tense, now she starts to get used to that. Now I am imitating the smoke around the feet which she tolerates in isolation of the other factors
This is a brilliant process of breaking down the experiences of the farrier furnace, thank you for sharing!
I would like to ask my mare, Pistache, where her fav spot to be scratched is. I have tried loads and haven’t found any signs of ecstasy for scratching yet! She seems to love me stroking her gently just behind her eye and goes all dozy. Another more important question would be to ask her why she doesn’t stop and STAND STILL and STAY stopped when I ask her. All the other horses remain still, but Pistache has ‘ants in her pants’ and is always eager to move on and get going.
haha! They all have such different personalities!
Hi,
I would love to know what should I do to not be afraid of the horse? I would love to know how to show the horse how I respect, admire and I am fascinated by them.
Thank you!
I would begin by simply spending time with them, sit out in the pasture, or in the barn by the stall door, even just reading a book, and get comfortable in their presence before worrying about asking them for anything.
How can I help you be a better horse and what can I do to assist that process
What a good question!
I would like to ask my new horse what has happened to you? You are so willing to be a team player and yet there is a bit of ptsd. I would like him to believe he is now safe.
Feeling safe is so important for learning and connection, it sounds like you are certainly on the right track just by asking this question.
I would ask: “Now that I have trained you so well to kick the stall door at feeding time, how do I get you to stop!
haha! How quickly they learn these unwanted behaviors!
What makes you afraid of leaving the property and the other horses when going out on trails? How can I make you feel more comfortable?
This is a great question Mindy and you may be able to think of a way to break this down more for your horse? Perhaps starting with short trail rides, or leading her out so you are on the ground instead of mounted.
I would ASK her what’s the best way to connect with her or him? Great video today, due to work hrs. I usually catch the replays. I’m just learning how to ride through lessons. thank you.
Thank you for being here Sheryl!
What happened to you before you came to the rescue? I have a mare who is automatically defensive, and her history before she was picked up by an equine rescue is unknown. I think many, maybe most, horses have years of “unknown” in their history. Our challenge is to be a new trusted partner despite what may have happened in the past.
By the way, I audited a jumping clinic years ago given by an Olympic eventing rider. When a horse refused the simple crossbar jump, he’d appear behind the horse with a lunge whip and whip the horse’s hocks until it fled over the jump. Not much trust-building there.
Unfortunately the situation you witnessed with the hose being chased over the jump is not an uncommon one, as I described in the story I shared introducing this video.
It would be so nice if we could know more about our horse’s history, I agree!
I would ask if she is hurting because she is very stoic and obedient. Also what can I do to improve our connection beyond obedience.
“improving connection beyond obedience” so well said Fleta!
I would ask Indy is he happy being around me and does he enjoy our time. I try to show him by scratches or rubs but I never seem to hit that one spot where I get a reaction but over all I think we have a pretty good thing going. Our neck rope went a lot better then I though I have 2 short videos
That sounds awesome with the neck rope John – good work!
What would he want me to do differently, either on the ground or in the saddle? Also does he prefer me riding dressage or western? Oh and does he prefer his bucket with more or less moisture lol
I would ask my mare if she is in any pain and if it is the saddle is causing her pain if it is. I would also love to know why she is so spooky with sounds. We’ve come a long way together in 10 months but I would love to have her as a more willing, trusting partner for trail rides.
Saddle fit is so important! It’s wonderful that you are considering it for you horse!
What are you saying to me as we’re riding? Can you hear me in the moment
? We’re better connected when we’re in cross-ties, or in your paddock, or at liberty. But when we both slip into “work mode,” how can I help you hear me today rather than respond to earlier cues?
Hi Wynn! I love how you phrased this question “can you hear me?” so powerful!
I want to ask my horse: why won’t you go with me somewhere alone? Why does there always have to be another horse along? Do you just not trust me?
I would ask if he likes the competitions. When we show, it’s just never good. He’s always scared of something, we’ll find the scary spot. I’m beginning to think it’s either my anxiousness, built up from all the bolting and bucking, or if it really is he just doesn’t want to be there. We don’t have these issues at that level anywhere else.
There is quite a lot of extra activity and energy at horse shows that can be difficult for horses to adjust to.
Hi Horse Class! I would like to ask my 22 year Dutch Warmblood mare Janey, if she is “truly” ready to stop being ridden or not? We made the decision together in 2016 that it was time to stop jumping even little courses and after a bad fall (she fell & I came off as a result) June 2021 I find she just seems unhappy. I don’t mean to personify her she just seems duller in her 4 months off. I rode last Sunday and it was a little scary but it went well and she and I were in harmony and more connected than we’d been in a long long time. Thanks, Heather & Janey
Wow! What a big question, thank you for posting Heather!
I have so many questions for my mare:
How do you feel today?
How can I help you if you feel better when leaving friends behind and go into a new environment?
Why are you sometimes like my lapdog and other days so tense and nervous?
Is it all just reflecting off of my moods?
I love these questions Sofie!
I would ask him if he is happy and comfortable.
What a simple and great question!
I would like to ask Tex whether he likes to be exercised every day or just a few times in the week?
Sometimes I feel he is happier with constant work, other times I feel he is asking for a break…..l
This would be interesting to have an answer to!
Hi Callie. Before you were able to help Mary Ann, what was she like when she was returned to her field or to her barn herd? Did she still stay shut down? Thanks Amanda
Hey Amanda! Away from people she was ok with other horses, but as soon as the halter or bridle went on, she went into that kind of shut down state.
how can i stop your fears?
I love this Jenny!
how can I help you feel safe?
Feeling safe is so important for learning, for people and horses, so this is such an important question!
Awesome advice Callie!I was taught to ignore the bad and use positive reinforcement while doing dog training about 6 years ago.
I started using this mentally about 4 years ago with my horse, as I saw how beneficial it was with my dogs, my dogs showed more personality, well behaved and always tried there absolute best.
When I did this with my horse, my whole relationship changed with my mares, my mind was more open and I actually don’t mind when my horse makes a mistake, cause i learned how to communicate with my horse instead of scaring the life out of my horse.
My chestnut mare has been with me for over 16 years and most of those 16 years where constant fighting, crying, frustrations, she has a massive buck that scared me, she has a strong mind and does not do well when told what to do, and I wish I had this mentally from day one with her, the past 4 years have been absolutely amazing since I changed my attitude and started looking at things from my horses prospective and understanding why she behaves in a certain manner, instead of fighting her, and controlling her, this video is spot on!
I have been using the same mentally with my new OTTB mare as well, and the past 5 months with my new mare has been absolutely amazing, she too had a lot of stable issues, kicking, biting no social skill, by allowing her to understand that she is not punished for fear or not understanding, but helping her and calming her down before showing her what I’m asking of her, when she reacts, so she can understand there is no need for fear, and rewarding her for behavior which is desirable she is showing me she wants to be in a partnership with me. She has stopped kicking her stable, and a lot more social in front of her stable door, to the point where she actually nods her head and you can have a fat chat with her.
I use to struggle working with my horse on the ground, and fetching my horse from the paddocks, since i changed my mind, to treat my horses in the same manner as i would treat and speak with friends and family, my horses actually greet me with a nay and are waiting at there stable window or paddock gate for me. They can even tell when it is my car driving in to the yard before I get to them. The groom says they start walking to their stable window or the paddock gate when I drive in the main gate.
You have the best way of explaining how to build a partnership and positive relationship with your horse. Again thank you so much for this video!
Thanks for being here Chantal! I learned a lot from the dog training world as well!
How can I connect with you little school horse before we ride, post covid, without being able to tack up?
I would love to ask him what I can do to be a better partner for him! He is like Mary Ann in the sense he will willingly do whatever I ask but he doesn’t want to leave the field or stall when other horses are present. I wonder why? I have tried everything to move forward but he plants his feet and won’t move. I try not to attach human feelings to the situation but that’s so hard! Love him to pieces and just want the best for him!
It would be so great if they could answer in times like this! I wonder if perhaps there is just a level of comfort being with the other horses and knowing that leaving the field means work time?
How are you feeling today? (If the horse is having a problem physically, mentally, or emotionally, I would try to help him and let him know I care!).
Oh how I wish they could answer this question too!
I would ask Wildfire how she is truly feeling today? (She has arthritis so only my granddaughter rides her now, but she is always willing, and even if she seems a little stiffer the next day she seems happier.)
I would ask my husband’s horse, Bodi, what makes him nervous and feel the need to “dance” even in an open area? (He will stand still alternately kicking his front leg across in front of the other leg.) I would also ask Bodi if he likes to trot now that he knows what it is! (In his former life he was an outrider at a racetrack and apparently only was taught to walk or gallop!)
And I would ask Jasper my 4.5 year old haflinger why he feels the need to always get into trouble?! (I’m sure it’s just his age, but he takes everything he can apart- whether it’s your tack box or the corral fencing!)
Hi Shanna! I love the question for Jasper – Halflingers always seem to have a mischievous streak!
Hi Callie, wonderful videos. I’d ask him if he can rely on me , if he is safe with me, and in negative case, what I can do better
Such good questions!
Thank you for being here and watching Barbara!
The video mentioned a PDF file “down below.”
I did not see a PDF file, because I didn’t see anything below.
What am I missing?
Thank you,
Scott
Disregard! I found it!
Awesome! Glad you found it
We have been through a lot in the last 2 years, we had to make changes for her and for me…I would like know if she is happy…..she makes me happy every day:)
I am riding a new horse in once weekly lessons who bites (suddenly and hard!) when her girth is groomed and when being saddled. In lieu of the barn’s recommendation that I simply keep her tied close (which means no ability to snack on hay like everyone else), I’d like to ask her how I can slow down and make this feel safe and welcome–and if there is a special place where I can scratch her or treats I can give to reward and help her through this. (I have a dog who had biting problems when I adopted him, and positive reinforcement did wonders for him.)
You are absolutely thinking in the right line of using positive reinforcement here! I also like to always rule out potential physical causes for girthiness and discomfort during saddling too.
Hi Callie,
My name is Becky and I am a self-taught horse rider taking as many tips from you as possible. This is our 3rd year of owning our own horses and my horse is 21 years old. I have had some issues with him nipping/biting at me when I tack him up to go riding. I tried rubbing his nose until he pulls away when he nips and making a very annoying noise when he nips to no avail. He doesn’t do that to anyone else or any other time. He doesn’t nip at my husband when he puts his tack on and our female horse chiropractor bridled him and he did not nip at her either. I am small and petite and am wondering if that is why he nips at me. He licks and chews after he has nipped and tried to bite me. This is the only time that he tries to bite me and it is when we are going to go riding. He does have arthritis in his neck and we do give him glucosamine, chiropractor visits and use the Sportz Vibe massage unit on him. He is fine when we are riding and when we are done riding. He only does this when I am tacking him
Another option Becky would be to give positive reinforcement for standing quietly during the tacking process. You would want to start this slowly and carefully as you don’t want to introduce positive reinforcement when your horse is already tense. If you started giving a low value reinforcement, such as a few bites of hay, as you are grooming and then continued this rhythm of giving reinforcement as your horse stands I am curious the difference that may make in this issue.
He only does this when I am tacking him up. I have changed saddles with a recommended and trusted expert in saddles and he still has the same behavior. The bridal is his life-long bridle and was given to us by his previous owner (only other owner). One day when he nipped at me while bridling him my husband wacked him on the nose hard and he stopped nipping. I started carrying a crop when I tack him up now. I have wacked him on the nose with the handle part of the crop when he nipped at me and tried to bite me when I bridled him. This seemed to teach him not to nip/bite at me. I now carry the crop every time I tack him up. Is this a bad thing? Is there something else that I should try?
When a behavior begins suddenly like this I find there is almost always a cause that is physical. Great work in thinking about and ruling out the tack. There could also be something else going on that is more internal/ systemic causing pain. For example I had a horse with severe kissing spines who was very aggravated when being tacked up, and had another with stomach ulcers that hated to be tacked.
One way you can tell a difference is when you punish the behavior and it stopped does the horse then look relaxed, or are they still tense, just not biting?
I am starting to get nervous about his physical health. I looked up Kissing Spines and one of the other symptoms is Crossing-Cantering and I think he does this quite often. That was one of the other questions that I want to ask you. When he goes into a canter sometimes it feels really ackward and unbalanced. Is this cross-cantering? If this is cross-cantering what can I do about it? Is there a technique or method for a horse to transition from a trot to a canter? Is there something I need to do in my cues to have him start a canter and when to start a canter? Am making a chiropractic appt for him this coming week to hopefully eventually we can rule out kissing spines.
Hi Becky, I saw your other question about this and linked a video there, but I’ll link here too just in case: https://www.horseclass.com/blog/some-horse-are-uncomfortable-to-ride-a-specific-example-and-how-to-help/
I would ask my horse: “How are you feeling today?” If there is a problem (physically, mentally, or emotionally), I would try to help and let him know I care.
I would ask how can I be your perfect partner so that we can work together in harmony?
Beautiful question!
I ride a riding school horse 1-2 times a week, sometimes the same one but not always and always ask them how they are and how they are feeling when I meet them and get on with a good scratch or rub. I always say thank you too at the end when dismounting and if they would be happy to ride again?
The stroke their head and over the eye and run around the ears…
This scratching can be a sign of the nervous system going into a more parasympathetic state – a bit of stress relief in a sense. This kind of behavior is interesting, because it can have different meanings depending on the individual and the context. Like a person scratching their head!
Do you like me riding you? Am I heavy to you atall Or do you just want to stay in feild and eat
haha! Maybe we don’t want to know all the answers if we are being compared to good green grass!
My expectations have changed mainly because of the last 18 months.
However I would ask my horse how are you? and are you enjoying the learning??
I love your question of are you enjoying the learning, very powerful. This was one thing that first drew me to positive reinforcement training, when I saw how much more my dog seemed to enjoy her training, then my horses!
I would ask Houston what he is thinking and how can we become better friends and also if his saddle hurts. I would ask Dallas if she is in pain because she never really seems to be happy. I sure would love to have an easy happy relationship with both of my horses
Relationship is so important! I think it is truly what most of us, at least here in this community, are seeking!
I would like to ask her how I can help her feel safe and secure and happy.
Interesting question! I would love to be able to ask my horse which saddle they prefer when trying different ones – would make saddle fitting a lot easier!
I have had my quarter horse gelding a year now and he came with a problem being cinched up. The previous owner said that he is really sensitive and it started when she was barrel racing with him. He got stressed and didn’t like it. I have worked very patiently with him. Cinching up very slowly, walking him around. I have had a holistic chiropractor look at him to make sure nothing was wrong physically. I would want to ask him what could I do to make him feel more comfortable with the cinching process. Once I am up and riding he is a great horse.
Perhaps he has a long memory of the cinching process being abrupt and uncomfortable? In this case, it would be interesting to see if adding positive reinforcement by rewarding him for standing relaxed throughout the process may be helpful?
I would ask him if Im getting better on his back and if he is feeling he can go forward more now knowing what I am asking!
Great question Trish!
I would ask her what I can do to make her life happier when we are together. I have only had her 5 months and we are starting to bond greatly. But she has been moved from one type of setting to something completely new, and she has been adjusting very slowly. I want to help her, but sometimes I wish she could tell me and we can get right to it.
That’s why I thought this would be a fun question to ask… what is that one thing we would just love to know from our horses
Yeah, it sure would be convenient at times to get verbal answers to nagging questions. But my OTTB mare is so polite, I would worry that she would downplay any concerns so as to avoid hurting my feelings
.
As frustrating as it can be, I’m actually grateful for the challenges of non verbal communication. It takes a lot of time and trial-and-error but it’s such a pure means of connecting.
You make such a good point – we humans learn so much from the nonverbal communication with our horses!
What happened to make you upset when being saddled? What can I do to be a better rider with you?
My mare and I have a pretty sweet ground connection. She gets a little spooky, so then can get “pushy/move too quick”, but we are working on ways to relax her (& me!) and there has been improvement. She was a lesson horse when I bought her, I think for just under a year. She started getting really cinchy and that behavior has continued/gotten worse. As soon as the saddle is on, she is back to being relaxed while I put her boots and bridle on. I’ve been told to just ignore her anger, I have been told to reward when she is relaxed… I have a feeling she was cinched up too tightly during a lesson and it hurt and that has stayed with her. I definitely don’t want her to keep feeling that stressed every time she gets saddled up so would love to know the cause and what I can do to help. ♥️
Absolutely Melissa! Good for you wanting to get to the cause of why she is feeling this way instead of just saying “she’s angry”! Going really slowly through the tacking process can be very helpful – as can rewards!
I would ask our Perty girl, “Are you happy?”
We (family horse) like to think that she is since we go to great lengths to keep her healthy and hopefully happy. But it would be nice if she could tell us herself, if there are specific things that make her feel happy and at peace with her place in this crazy world.
A simple and powerful question! Thank you for posting!
Myth 2 show them who’s boss
This video could not resonate more with me Callie. As a beginner rider, I had a teacher who said all these things and more – including “he’s just testing you”. There was no joy in my lessons and I wondered about giving up. Instead I changed my teacher and six months later I had the same beautiful horse on loan… Casper was a different horse when we were on our own. Far from testing me, he taught me all I know about enjoying the company of horses, and how easy it is to communicate with them if I’m just allowed to listen and respond.
Thank you for all your wonderful videos Callie – watching you with your horses in the beginning of this one was pure delight.
Thank you Kate! I appreciate you being here, watching these videos, and way to go for following what you knew was right and finding a different teacher when you were starting out!
I would ask Selena, “How can we stay as connected when I’m in the saddle as we do when I’m on the ground?”
What a great question!
I would “why don’t you like me putting your bridle on?” When I put the bit up to my TB mares mouth, she clenches her teeth and it can take anywhere fom 30secs to 5mins to get the bit in her mouth.
Hi Suzanne,
This might be an interesting sign of tension she is holding in her jaw. How is she once the bit is in? Does she ever toss her head, get heavy in the bridle, or feel tight or anxious as you ride?
The time waiting for her to soften her jaw and open her mouth for the bit is time well spent, as this can have a big impact on the rest of your ride!
So waiting, even up to that 5 min before, for her to really soften, is worth the effort!
I would ask if she enjoyed are time together and how best we could spend our time. Many people ride her and I have no agenda except to improve my knowledge and skills as a rider.
I love that you have no agenda, Shannon! I believe that our horses can connect so much better when we are in this state.
I would ask my 19 yr old QH who has been a “show” horse all of his life (but now semi-retired), what can I do to bring the spark back in your eye and spring in your step? I have had him for 1.5 yrs. It’s been my goal to connect with him and make him happy. Clearly he is teaching ME to ride, but not sure he’s enjoying it? He has been cleared of any potential medical conditions causing this. I wonder if he was just treated as a “machine” and don’t know what a relationship is? It makes me sad and I want to help him.
What you are doing for your horse is wonderful Amy!
I would ask him how I can help him overcome his nervousness and help him with his confidence, he was in a riding accident at the end of last year (before I started riding him) although he’s already so much better, there is still a lot of work to be done. He is a youngster and only 6 so hopefully with patience and time he will build trust and confidence not only in his rider but also in himself.
Hi Aldeen, sorry to hear about your horse’s accident! I am confident that you will be able to work through this with him. How good that you are aware of his need for confidence and helping him through this!
I would like to ask my lesson horse if he’s not to tired. I often worry about this before we start a new exercise. I don’t want to strain him or her.
Thanks for your video. !
It is so important that you are paying attention to this Ann! Thank you for your comment here!
If only she would speak like Mr. Ed, I have many questions for her. What discipline would she enjoy, and does my kissing you bother you? She is my peace
It would be great if there were more Mr. Ed’s in the world!
I would ask him if he feels that we have a fair two sided communication between us, and what we both can do together to make it the most enjoyable, and honest partnership/relationship that we can have.
Beautiful questions Deb!
I would ask him if he’s comfortable with his saddle and bit. I’m a new rider, trying different bits and unsure if I have the right saddle for him. (thanks for the awesome myth videos!)
Glad you are enjoying this workshop Stacey!
I would like to ask him if he is annoyed with me that I don’t dare to go faster. It seems like he wants to go faster, but my instructor says that I should keep him at the pace that I want. And that pace is not very fast.
I feel sorry for him. I think he knows that. He is doing his best to assure me that I am safe on him. I should let him go at his pace. But I am such a coward…
Hi Boudie, thank you for your comment. I sense you are already feeling this but I would encourage you not to feel sorry for your horse. Focus on your joy and being present. That is what is most important, for you and your horse.
I would ask her if she likes to be ridden by me?
A simple but important question.
How do I know which bit to use without hurting the horse, and how much pressure to use when it comes to whoa from a gallop
I would ask my lovely mare if I have gained her trust and love…
Beautiful question Elaine!
I would ask when did you start showing such displeasure when you are saddled or girthed? Is it a learned behavior you began before I knew you?
It would always be helpful to know the root of behaviors such as this. Were you able to work through the problem solving sequence I explained in this training?
I would ask my horse how I can make riding and ground work more fun. We do play together and spend time just being together. I think he understands that I want his input and he is feeling more comfortable expressing himself. And I’m glad that he is sharing and not just obedient.
Now he does show me he is less than thrilled with our riding with behavior similar to MaryAnn’s at the mounting block.
I would also ask him how I can help him relax so he can be more balanced and not feel the need to rush. We are working on Balance In-hand and are challenged with the very foundation of relaxation.
Beautiful questions and great that you are working on the in hand course as well!
I would ask if he trusts me.
I am so glad that horses can show us these answers too
I would ask if he’s not understanding what I’m asking or if I’m not asking correctly/being confident enough. I bought a horse finally and I’m so worried that I’m undoing all of his training as I am learning still.
Congratulations on your new horse Laura!
Anytime we are working with a meeting horse there is a process of communication and learning about the other. This will come with your new horse and the more you think of this communication as simply a process of teaching your horse what you are looking for the easier it can come!
I would love to be able to directly ask if they like being ridden and if there was anything I could do to make it better for them.
I would ask my rescued mare to trust me and my intentions. I love her old soul and would ask her to partner up with me so we can have happy trails together. I will provide her forever home.
Hi Andy, thanks for your comment. It’s not a simple one to answer, there is no one right bit and o e right amount of pressure to use. Learning to read the signals of the horse is what is most important so you can know these answers for you and your horse.
Be sure to watch video 3 tomorrow for more on understanding the subtle signals from our horses.
Hi Callie.
I moved to an adult only barn 4 years ago. The care is excellent as well as the facilities.
I feel as if our bond is lessoning partly due to my health and I would ask him what I could do to fix that.
I just get the feeling that he is no longer happy.
Thank you again for all your tips and insights.
Hi Karen, sorry to hear that you feel your bond with your horse has been lessening – I know that is a difficult feeling. Is it just in your time together that you feel your horse is not as happy or are you also concerned with his overall wellbeing?
Hi hi Callie.
I love watching your videos…you seem to talk about all the feelings and problems I experience and the situations I usually see around our stable yard. Thank you sooo much for all your guidance and knowledge you are willing to pass on.
I guess the question I would ask my Chilla boy (16.2 hand TB) is that if he thinks if he is a big dog? He keeps licking me and the other day it was sooo funny he literally licked my dog that comes riding with me hehehehe LOL….lately he keeps licking my ears and I cant understand why?
He will also nibble on EVERYTHING….
Another question would be why he is such a big baby? He gets a fright at the most weirdest of objects. Like he would walk past it 3 times and at the 4 time he would decide to spook at the object.
Hi Tilana,
I am so glad you enjoyed the video! This mouthy behavior is not uncommon for geldings, especially young geldings. It can be associated with teething and then can linger as a learned way to relieve tension (and just a way of exploring the world).
Hey Buddy – Let’s work together. Am I doing this right? Am I giving you the right cues to move left, right and stop? ** Sometimes I feel like I ask 2 or 3 things at once from my boy – reins, legs, voice** My first year of horse ownership with a 14 yr old, sweet, patient gelding** He knows what to do! I am sure it’s me!
Congratulations on this first year of horse ownership! Very exciting!
As it is my first time ever raising a horse from a 2 -year old (he just turned 6), I would ask him if he thinks I have been treating him fairly in his training and breaking things down well enough for him to understand what I am asking.
What a great question Dawn – the part of if you are breaking the training steps down enough for his understanding!
I would ask what can I do to help you be confident happy and rounded instead of being anxious and speeding up.
I would ask him if my riding causes him discomfort. I have fallen off many times and often it is small startles that any other rider would be able to adjust to. I know I am not an experienced rider and I wonder if my lack of balance in the saddle causes him pain. I want to be more in flow with him and he is exceptionally smooth so it is NOT him. I just don’t want to hurt him while I am trying to make myself better
Hi Julia, You absolutely can be in better flow with your horse, of course riding is a lifetime practice of improvement but there are often simple changes that can immediately help you become more stable and balanced!
Great first 2 videos. Now I am going to watch the third video. Thank you for this education.
Absolutely! I am so glad you are enjoying these!
I would ask my horse why she shakes her head and tries to geta hold of the bit even when I’m barely making contact.
If she has had poor experiences in the past she may be anticipating that it will happen again.
What is the future for this awesome class?
We will open enrollment on May 2 for the full Balanced Riding Course!
How I J copies of your video
I would love to see your videos. How can I get copies?
I’ve only had my horse for 6 months. We are still getting used to each other. She has old scarring on her face and side. I wish I could ask what happened to her and when. Is she still traumatized by it. Is there something I could do differently that would benefit her.
Are you comfortable to ride today or are you hurting somewhere?
This is a great question to ask!
My question for my horse right now what can I do to help u trust me more. He was not managed at all from his first owners, so he’s still learning to open up to me.
I would like to ask my horse what
I can do to gain his confidence &
trust . . . .
I wish our horses could directly answer this one too!
What would you like me to improve on
Do you care if my heals are down? Ha ha no just kidding
I would ask my horse do you feel my aids?
and does it feel okay when some riders kick you in the side? (I tend to use a squeeze and pressure on the side). Others use more force and tell me to get after them, Do you really need me to get after you ?
good questions Leah
I suspect there are some you already have the answer to
I would ask Curli about his life before he came to me and if he likes me. He was an Amish cart horse and was sent to a kill pen when he was diagnosed with Equine metabolic issues.
Wonderful that you were able to rescue him!
Hi Callie, Again, thank you.
More learning… more practice, more fun! I so appreciate these mini workshops.
Absolutely! Great to have you here!
Do you like spending time with me?
What do I need to do to make this better for you?
I would ask her “what is something I do all the time during my lesson that annoys you” something that I don’t see or notice?”
Such a great question! Thank you for posting this
My horse exhibits some of the aggressive behaviors you I mentioned; specifically, chasing & biting other horses-generally horses who are weaker in some way. We are at a boarding barn so my boy is now in a separate pasture from the others. He is still able to see the herd from his space as well as see others when stalled. My question for him would be, “why do you feel the need to aggressively chase the other horses?”
These questions are so interesting… It just made me think of asking these questions to people we know (or to ourselves) when we do things that seem illogical. Even with language, we can’t explain it, as many of the sources for behaviors are unconscious. Thank you for posting this comment, it got me thinking too!
I would ask him “ am I doing anything to make you feel anxious”
I would like to ask Naomi, why all of a sudden you do not want to take the bit-bridle? I had moved her (on the same property) to a back pasture with 2 other horses so that she can have more movement than in a shed run. She has had a dental recently. I think it is being very herd bound to her new buddies, for she has always been that way. I am going to use your Problem Solving Guide tonight to help me figure out or have a plan on how to have her accept the bit.
I would ask him what he wishes we would do more of together!